FearLess Life Coaching
  • Home
  • About
  • FAQs
  • Contact
  • New Client Form
  • Blog

Stickability

10/15/2018

0 Comments

 
It's been a while since my last post. Summer and life taking a front seat. Not to mention a round of site related chaos getting my security settings in place. Arrgh! If any of you tried this site over last month or so and it looked unsafe that is why. I am actually quite impressed that I could persevere in the face of very frustrating circumstances to solve the puzzle necessary to get my site's security clearance. I know we can all struggle with perseverance in the face of frustration and can often quickly give up. We do this even wen the stakes are high. How can we increase our "stickability"?
  • Mindset is important. Monitoring our thoughts and reactions is key. If we are telling ourselves we will never be able to be successful at the task we will quickly give up.
  • Reminding oneself how good it will feel it we see a task through to the end...seeing past the immediate frustration.
  • It's ok to take a break, work on letting go of the frustration  and get back to it. 
  • See it as a challenge that you are intent on meeting. Many of us can do this in our "wheelhouse" areas sports or creating art or music for example. It's much harder in areas we are not familiar with or good at.
  • ASK FOR HELP. I bet I called online support two dozen times while trying t figure out my website issue. Sometimes during a call I had to politely hang up due to frustration. I would compose myself(sometimes not till the next day or two) and call back.
Good luck with all your present and future challenges! 
0 Comments

A Weighty Topic

7/16/2018

0 Comments

 
Losing weight and keeping it off can be a real challenge if you have ADHD. Just eating on a regular schedule can be difficult never mind healthy eating! Deciding what to cook, planning ahead to have to right stuff in the fridge, time management, following recipes, all present executive functioning challenges which are not an ADHD strong suit. Skipping meals or eating fast food is often the answer to these challenges that seem overwhelming to us.
What can we do to start to change this pattern? First, start small. Make little changes and try to establish a habit with the new behavior. One at a time! It won't help if you overwhelm yourself! Here are some ideas to begin.
  • Eat breakfast even if you aren't hungry. Get up a little bit earlier so you'll have time to wake up before rushing out the door without breakfast. 
  • Eat protein at every meal. This will give you steady energy and help memory and attention. If you aren't sure of good sources of protein google it. 
  • Eat protein snacks. Keep a jar of nuts or protein bars with you . Again google to find good options.
  • If you are using a planning session to organize your week(previous recommendation) add meals to it including what you plan to eat.
  • Be mindful (here it is again). Impulsivity can cause you to make bad eating choices and cause you to eat faster and more than you intend.
  • Happy Dance every time you make a positive change toward your goal of healthy eating. 
0 Comments

Wheelhouse and career choice

6/11/2018

0 Comments

 
So I've mentioned how important it is for those of us with ADHD to find our wheelhouse.  This is the place where our ADHD brain thrives. Where we feel excited interested and stimulated in healthy ways. This is especially important when picking a career. Some of us are lucky and fall into a career that suits us or we have a passion that we can follow into a career. For me it was knowing I wanted to help others and this passion led me to becoming a social worker then a psychotherapist and life coach. Here is a list of careers that are not tied to a desk, require energy, are creative, challenging and benefit from brains that think outside the box!
Teacher
Daycare Worker
Journalist
Beautician/Hairstylist
EMT/Law enforcement/Firefighter
Nurse
High Tech
Theater/ Arts
Entrepreneur/Small Business Owner
Hospitality Industry/ Restaurant/Hotel

We all have ADD and we have different strengths and challenges, passions and challenges. Find what fits you and go for it!


0 Comments

Decisions Decisions Decisions

5/7/2018

0 Comments

 
Hmmmm....what should I do today? What should I have for dinner? Which of these products should I choose? What should my blog topic be today???
​There are many reasons behind difficulty making decisions. Perfectionism, Analysis Paralysis,
0 Comments

Spring! now what

4/23/2018

0 Comments

 
Spring is finally here...I hope. A few warm sunny days and I begin to believe again. After the initial elation comes that familiar feeling...there is so much to do! I can feel overwhelmed just thinking about it now. Especially if you own a home it can seem daunting to think of the spring chores. Here's a few ideas to get started and avoid the usual struggle to get it all done.
  • First and foremost remember it will all get done! The ADHD tendency is to see it all at once which leads to feeling overwhelmed. Remember Spring comes every year and every year things get done. 
  • Make a list. You can make a master list and then pull off a few things when you are planning your day.  I put mine on a white board. I love the feeling of erasing a chore once it's completed!
  • One thing at a time! Picking which chore to start with may be based on weather, time, a step based chore that needs to be done in order. If there is no external parameter then decide based on what you like to do so it will be easier to get started or what you like least to get it out of the way. 
  • Finish what you started! As you go through the day you will see a myriad of other things calling your attention. Be Mindful and do not follow your attention. Consciously pull it back to what you are doing. Practice practice practice this and you will get better at it!
  • Finally, when you have completed a task celebrate your accomplishment! Admire your handiwork and feel good about what you did. Now is not the time to think about what else still needs to be done
HAPPY SPRING!
0 Comments

FOMO

3/26/2018

0 Comments

 
Just back from a week in sunny Florida. Aaaah solar therapy! You might think FOMO has something to do with my Florida and it does in a way. It actually refers to a condition common to many with or without ADHD. The difficulty with committing to something often caused by Fear Of Missing Out. I find that those of us with ADHD can often have a greater than average dose of this. Our brain's need for lots of stimulation lead us to want to "do it all". If we commit to one thing it can lead to not being free to do another that comes along. This can result in missing out on opportunities because we didn't commit in order to keep our options open. I have long struggled with this and would marvel at those folks who would plan a vacations a year or even months ahead.
Realizing that I have missed out on some things and have annoyed more than one friend or family member with my inability to commit I decided to try to do it different. So over the last year or so I have been making plans, buying concert tickets well in advance, planning vacations and actually buying the airline tickets, saying yes a week or more out for weekend plans. How has it worked out? Well, I have had times where I had to let go of something that came along that I couldn't do because of previous commitment. That has led me to work on letting go and focusing on what I am doing rather what I can't. It has also allowed me the luxury of looking forward to and anticipating a fun time coming up. Something that is missing when one makes last minute decisions. 
The one thing that I have to work on is checking my calendar now before committing to something. There is the problem of double booking when you make future plans and this has happened more than a few times. A topic for a future blog. Enjoy!

0 Comments

Getting Back on Track

3/5/2018

0 Comments

 
Wel,l I'm back at it.  I spent about half of February traveling and having so much fun that when I was home I did not even think of blogging. In fact I spent much of the little time I had trying to get organized again! I love traveling and the freedom from routine but when I get home I'm lost without it. Don't get me wrong, my routine is not complicated or that rigid. Basically just a few things I know I do everyday to stay on track. Yoga, a good breakfast, making a healthy lunch which requires grocery shopping regularly, weekly blog, regular bedtime, weekly laundry (sometimes stretched to biweekly) maybe a few more things I can't think of right now. So just the basics. 
Why when I travel and am out of my routine does it take me so long to get back into it? It feels like trying to quickly turn an ocean liner... it doesn't happen. I'm sure it has to do with brain chemistry. All the dopamine and adrenaline that was coursing between my synapses is now trying to fire up about getting back on a schedule...so exciting and fun...not. But it is soothing once I've gotten it back. I try to be compassionate that I need time to get back in the swing. As I plan for my next trip (leaving for Florida next week) I know I will go through the same challenge when I get back. But that's ok. It will happen and right now I'm doing a Happy Dance that I sat down and wrote this blog today!
0 Comments

The ADHD Iceberg

1/22/2018

0 Comments

 
When I picture ADHD I think of an iceberg. Above the water are all the symptoms and behaviors that are visible. The disorganization, hyperactivity, impulsivity, to name a few. You get the picture. All the ways ADHD trips us up for us and the world to see. Yet just like an iceberg,under the surface lies an even more massive body of issues related to ADHD. These are the underlying feelings, emotions and struggles presented by ADHD that no one ever sees and we might not even recognize as part of the having ADHD.
There is the shame and self esteem issues, depression, anxiety, confusion, and so much more that can be part of the picture of ADHD. Much of which has slowly built up over time a result of negative feedback and reactions of others over the years or our own negative explanations for why we are like we are.

When seeking treatment for ADHD it is important to address the entire iceberg especially what lies beneath the surface. Coaches who are also trained clinically are the best resource to deal with the ADHD iceberg.
0 Comments

Consistently Inconsistent

1/15/2018

0 Comments

 
Consistently Inconsistent is how I describe the forward progress when one has ADHD. In spite of our best efforts to create habits or  keep up with a plan we inevitably fall of the rails.  This could be just a brief hiccup or a more extended hiatus from remembering to take medication, or being on time or putting our keys in the place we decided they should go. When this happens, and it will, it is best to see it as part of the process. Progress not perfection. It is much more healthy and helpful to focus instead on the period of time we were consistent rather than beat ourselves up about not following through. By staying positive it is much easier to get back on track which is all that matters. Take some time to evaluate whether there is anything you can do to increase your consistency. A better place for the keys, better reminders etc. Sometimes it is just the need to refocus on the behavior we are trying to maintain. 
0 Comments

Happy New Year

1/1/2018

0 Comments

 
A new beginning! The making of resolutions. We ADDers often get a rush of excitement starting fresh. Best intentions to do it different be it get organized, be on time, follow through, finish what we start seem possible. So why after a few days, weeks, a month do we find ourselves back to the same old. Well, partly it's the nature of ADD "consistently inconsistent". We lose focus, get distracted even briefly and it's hard to get back on track or it just keeps happening we can't seem to stick with it. Good intentions alone cannot overcome our ADD brains. So what's the answer? I wish it were simple (how many times have we all said this to ourselves) but it isn't. It is possible to make progress. Try some of these suggestions as you go forward in the New Year.
  • Keep it simple. Pick one small thing you want to work on such as not misplacing your keys, wallet, phone so you are not rushing around trying to leave the house on time but can't find at least one of these items.
  • You will need to develop a strategy or plan ex. designate a specific place to put your stuff 
  • Make the strategy work for you.There is no right, wrong or perfect plan or strategy. The place to put your stuff is the place that makes sense to you.
  • Work on developing a habit which experts say takes 30 days. In this case always putting your stuff in it's designated place immediately upon getting home. 
  • Make it your one priority. Nothing is more important when you get home than immediately putting your stuff in it's special place.
  • If you are having trouble being consistent up the intervention add another strategy. Put an alarm in your phone that goes off everyday at a time you will likely be home that says Put stuff in it's place.
  • Ask for help. Outside structure is always helpful even if we bristle about it. Use a spouse, friend or coach to help set external parameters.
  • Be compassionate and kind to yourself. This does not mean let yourself off the hook or don't hold yourself accountable. It just means you don't beat yourself up if you aren't perfect.Progress not perfection. If you are being 75% successful that is still success. 
​
0 Comments
<<Previous

    Lois Callahan

    I am passionate about helping others with ADHD learn strategies and live successfully. 

    Archives

    October 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly