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Decisions decisions decisions

12/11/2017

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This is today's topic because I couldn't decide what to write about! I had been pleasantly surprised up till now that I was able to decide my blog topics without my usual prolonged decision making process aka struggle. So why is it so hard for us with ADHD to make decisions? Where should I start? Ha ha that's one of the challenges. Everything seems as important as everything else. This makes it hard to prioritize and thus decide how to proceed. What if I make the wrong choice? Having made impulsive choices in the past lends credibility to this fear. Overthinking and information overload is another stumbling block. Once I was hired to write a handbook  on a topic I knew well, I never completed it because I did so much(unnecessary) research and had so much information that I couldn't decide what to include. Everything seemed important! So here are a few tips t help with indecision.
  • Focus on the goal of the decision. (My blog is about sharing tidbits about ADHD with others.)
  • Keep it simple.( I live it. I don't have to spend hours researching. It's not rocket science.)
  • Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Often not making the best decision or a "wrong" one is better than no decision. (Not writing the handbook was much worse than it not being the best. Today I might wish I had written a different topic. It would be much worse not having posted anything!)
  • Limit the amount of time you are willing to devote to the decision. It doesn't have to be the best decision. Just a decision that you've thought about and know why you made it. 
  • Think about your process. If it turns out after the fact that there was a better decision think about whether you could have known this ahead of time. If so that becomes a lesson to help you make a better decision next time. Make a note to remember this so you can do it better next time.(I remembered the painful lesson of the unwritten handbook. I stopped myself from getting twisted about finding a topic. This allowed me to do it different today.)
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Feast or Famine

12/4/2017

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I'm not talking about food or diets I'm talking about activities and commitments. It seems that it's hard to find a balance between being busy and having nothing to do. I tend to over commit and end up feeling overwhelmed and then I pull back and end up feeling like I am spending too much time alone or watching too much TV. It's taken time to figure out how this happens and what I might be able to do about it. I finally realized the problem is that I say yes to everything. Not out of obligation (though that's how I end up feeling) but because of the H in ADHD I crave stimulation, can be impulsive and so many things interest me and I get excited about them(at least initially). Once I figured this out I came up with a strategy that works (sometimes) and a back up plan when it doesn't. 
  • Have some sort of weekly or monthly planner. This can be digital or an old fashioned appointment book ( I opt for a hard copy because I can visualize my schedule by seeing it in black and white.)
  • When planning to do something or deciding about a request say "let me look at my calendar" and then look at your calendar. If you don't have it with you don't commit.
  • Even if it sounds like something you would like to do don't commit if your calendar is full. Maybe you can rearrange or plan the activity for later when you're not so busy.
  • If your ADHD has over-ridden your strategy and you find yourself over booked don't be afraid of canceling  or rescheduling (with as much notice as possible).  
Much of this strategy may seem like common sense but for many of use it has to be something we have to work at and give ourselves permission to do.
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    Lois Callahan

    I am passionate about helping others with ADHD learn strategies and live successfully. 

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